It’s that time of year again—a brand-new school year is upon us! Parents may feel excited and relieved, children may feel a tinge of excitement, but scared, intimidated, and dreadful. “Please don’t make me go back. That’s diabolical!” While the thought of reuniting with friends can bring a smile, the prospect of waking up early, navigating a day with teachers, and tackling challenging assignments can be daunting.

“Just wait until you grow up and face real responsibilities!”  

“You think this is tough? You have no idea—this is the easy part!”  

“Kids today are lazy and ungrateful.”  

Does any of this resonate with you? Perhaps it’s a thought you’ve had or a sentiment you’ve expressed recently.

“Back in my day, we didn’t have computers, the internet, or smartphones making our jobs easy like you do these days.”  

“You don’t know what hardship is. When I was raising my kids, money didn’t come around as often or as easy.”

“You think you have it bad now, just wait until you’re my age. You wouldn’t survive a day in my shoes with all the aches and pains.”  

Does this sound familiar too—something you may have heard echoed by others a little older than you?

Every stage of life and transition is filled with its own unique joys and trials. Each phase is a fresh experience, often leading us to forget the feelings associated with earlier times in our lives. A child returning to school has a great deal of worries. Am I going to be stuck with that teacher that everyone complained about last year? Will I have classes with any of my friends, did they change over the summer, or did any of them move away? Is the bullying going to be worse this year? Will I stand out because I’m not as smart, I’m not as pretty, and we couldn’t afford new clothes like the other kids? Will mom or my pets be okay while I’m at school? When is Social Services going to take me from school again and not let me go home like they did last year? These are all valid questions when returning to school that many children fear the answers to.

Starting a new job can be incredibly stressful. What if the work is too overwhelming? Are my coworkers going to be full of drama like the last place? After reading all the terrible reviews on Indeed and Google, is my boss going to be unrealistically demanding and micromanaging? How secure is this job with all the recent funding cuts and decline in sales? These anxieties resonate whether you’re entering a new department, shifting to a different floor, or transitioning to an entirely new company. 

As we approach late adulthood, a new set of concerns arises: Will I understand Social Security or Medicare? Will I have enough in SSI and savings to survive, especially with all the news about Social Security running out of money? With more and more doctor appointments, when will I face bad news? Who will care for me when I can no longer manage alone? As friends and family continue to pass away, who will I leave behind or will I be the one to end up alone? While the specifics of our worries may differ, the underlying feelings often remain the same, mirroring the fears our children experience when returning to school. Going to a new grade for a child may seem insignificant compared to an elderly person moving into assisted living or a nursing home, but in the minds and hearts of both the child and the elderly, these transitions are completely new experiences for them. They are life-altering, full of fear and anxiety. 

At our core, we all have an essential need for a family of support. None of us can navigate these significant transitions alone. Knowing you have a strong support system who cheers you on, encourages, guides, comforts, holds your hand, and helps you when you fail or fall can bolster your confidence to face whatever challenges lie ahead. So, as your child heads back to school this year, remember they are grappling with their own fears and anxieties, whether or not they show it. Be that steadfast support for them, ensuring they know a loving caregiver is by their side. Perhaps have an open conversation and share some of your own experiences so they know they aren’t alone. At the end of the day, we all yearn for the same things: to feel safe, secure, connected, and loved.