From television commercials for retail sales to ads on radio chatter, special community events, and seeing buses practice routes, there is a back-to-school buzz in the air this time of year. In many ways, it is an exciting time for parents, but it can also be quite stressful for things such as schedule changes and budgeting for new clothes and school supplies. However, this time of year can also be taxing for students. Here are some signs your child may be experiencing stress, what some of those stressors may be, and strategies for helping.

While this list isn’t comprehensive, here are some signs your child may be experiencing stress about going back to school:

• Being more tired than usual
• Irritability and frustration or other mood changes
• Having stomachaches or headaches
• Sadness, hopelessness, or dread
• Crying spells
• Panic attacks
• Being overwhelmed by or avoidance of school or other responsibilities
• Sleep or eating changes
• Withdrawal from others or interests

Sometimes stressors are obvious, but sometimes they are more subtle and obscure. Here are some stressors that may be burdening your child:

• Transitioning to a different sleep schedule following the summer
• Social anxiety with new teachers, classmates, or changes in friendships
• Pressure about assignments and grades
• Social media pressures
• Being bullied
• Hormonal changes such as puberty
• Juggling responsibilities between school, sports, chores, social, etc.
• College and career concerns or the future
• Politics and world events

Parents play a major role in helping their children navigate and manage stress. Here are some strategies you can use:

• Modeling
  • Being a good role model has a significant impact on your child’s ability to manage stress. Children need to learn that parents have stress and challenges, and that it is a normal part of life. Normalizing not only the experience of difficult situations but also uncomfortable feelings teaches children that it is okay to feel that way; they can deal with and manage difficult things without having to run or hide from them.
• Listening and being attentive
  • Listening means more than simply hearing words your child speaks. It involves taking time to ask them questions, listen to what they have to share, and engage in a conversation about what they share. Be aware of their body language, as they often communicate more with non-verbals than speaking. Take time to spend with them and join them in their world and the activities they enjoy. Create a safe space for them so they feel comfortable opening up about things that may be bothering them. Notice when they are expressing or doing something that is out of the ordinary for them and talk to them about it.
• Being consistent with adhering to routines and expectations
  • Try to have dinner around the same time every day, bedtime, and time to wake up. If you request shoes be taken off at the door, enforce that rule so that it is a consistent expectation which becomes a routine practice. Brush your teeth before bed, make your bed in the morning, complete a chore before dinner, attend church on Sunday morning, and be sure your dirty clothes are in the hamper by every Tuesday at 6 pm and Saturday at 9 am when laundry is done. Whatever the case, be sure that you are consistent in modeling what you are requesting, reinforcing the expectations, and adhering to a schedule.
• Enforcing sleep hygiene
  • Sleep is essential to healthy brain functioning. If someone doesn’t have enough sleep, then the brain has reduced ability to focus, process, and retain information; stress management, including emotional regulation, problem solving, and critical thinking skills, attention spans decrease, and impulsivity can increase. Maintain a set bedtime and set time for waking up. Set limits for screen time, especially in the evenings, and have no screen time for at least 1 hour before bed. If a nap is needed in a day, limit it to one nap for 30 minutes or less. 
• Time management mindfulness
  • Set a time to work only on homework, another time only for chores, devoting attention solely to those activities during those times. Being aware of attention spans, set times to accommodate those attention spans, then take a 10-minute break. For example, an average typical 8-year-old child has an attention span of approximately 20-25 minutes without taking into consideration other factors such as ADHD, the environment, past trauma, etc.
• Healthy eating habits
  • Taking time to slow down and sit together for a meal, not using a device. Having nutritious meals, but also snacks that are quickly and easily accessible without it being junk food. Limit caffeine intake and have no caffeine at least 6 hours before bedtime. Caffeine can exacerbate anxiety in addition to disrupting sleep.
• Giving praise and recognition
  • Let the words your children hear from you be more than just requests, corrections, demands, or observations. It is important for all of us to hear positive affirmations. Part of being a parent is guiding, directing, and correcting, but balance those with positive and encouraging statements to your child.
• Seek professional help
  • Collaborating with your child’s teacher, school counselor, and principal is important. Discuss options with your child’s primary care physician for better managing stress and anxiety. Seek out the help of a professional therapist.

Hope Is Within Reach

As parents, we do everything we can to help our children thrive, but we weren’t meant to do it alone. If your family could benefit from additional support, FIVE18 Family Services is here to walk alongside you with compassionate counseling, practical guidance, and hope rooted in faithful relationships. Whatever this school year brings, we’re here to help your family move forward together.