February often leaves us reflecting on what love is and how we can love well. Not just the romantic kind, but the kind that shows up in kitchens before sunrise, in tired evenings, and in homes doing the best they can. Especially for families with busy schedules and heavy responsibilities, tasks lists can get in the way of purposefully loving each other. 

Julie and Ryan are caring for Greg, Ryan’s dad, while trying to keep up with their children’s needs and schedules. Until recently, job pressures added stress, making it hard to show love in small, gentle ways. Julie and Ryan were willing to share what they’ve learned about loving well in life’s ups and downs. We also spoke with Janice Clemmons, FIVE18’s Director of Family Empowerment, who shared three gentle reflections — reminders that love grows in ordinary moments, especially for families who feel stretched thin.

Practice Mindful Presence

We know making time to be present isn’t always easy. But small pockets of time add up. Janice calls this the ‘ministry of presence.’ It’s about spending focused, caring time with family. Janice said, “Even five minutes a day can make a big difference when done consistently. This can happen around a meal, while throwing a ball, or sitting and listening about the latest worry at school.” 

Greg suffers from Parkinson’s Disease. Julie and Ryan have learned that this presence with him looks different than with others. For them, it helped to gently sit down with him and ask him questions about his world and the frustrations he faced in it. They listened and then helped him to live in that world joyfully and with relationships. 

For example, Greg is bedridden and has a favorite television show he watches nightly. It gives him something to look forward to each day. So, Ryan watched his show with him once a week, listened to his needs, and found ways to make the time joyful with favorite foods and tools to help him hear better. Ryan and Julie said that even short times spent a couple times a week show love without draining him of the little energy he has.  

Still, Janice encourages people to be gentle and kind with themselves as they create moments of quality time with their families. One way to be kind to yourself is to notice even small growth. If you’re doing better at making warm eye contact with your child, that’s something to celebrate.

Nurture When Cups Run Low

Janice also encouraged families to look for ways to fill each other’s cups. We know kids especially need help handling their emotions; and to feel comforted, protected, and cherished. If your child seems to be acting out because a need isn’t being met, gently explore the situation with curiosity — step back, look for signs of discomfort, and try different ways of helping them express what they need.

“If a parent is struggling to connect with his or her child or partner, I would encourage them to notice how they can engage around things in their world,” Janice said. With children, it may help to enter their world by getting down on their level and using warm eye contact and a gentle tone. This can calm fear in your child and help them open up to you. 

When Julie noticed that Ryan was often upset and tense, she set up a time to talk with him, validate his feelings, and assure him that they are in this together. Sensing his burnout, she asked him how she could help him make space for breaks. They decided to arrange child care once a week so he could rest or work on a hobby. 

It’s Okay to Ask for Help

One morning, Julie found herself crying over the sink — not because of one big thing, but because of many small ones: the pain in Greg’s eyes, her son’s tears at bedtime, the loneliness of long stretches not seeing her overworked husband.

Janice reminded us that needing help isn’t failure — it’s a turning point. “You can reach out to trusted parents,” she shared, “or connect with someone who has expertise in child development and family dynamics.”

For Julie, help arrived gradually: a neighbor who watched the kids, a cousin who shared in caregiving, and eventually a family-support coach who helped her understand her children’s needs in new ways.

We Want to Support You

Love in a family rarely looks perfect. It looks like trying again after a hard morning. It looks like forgiving short tempers and remembering that everyone — children, partners, and aging parents — is carrying something unseen. If you want to explore new ways to love well, FIVE18 Family Services offers parenting classes, family advocacy, coaching, and mental health services. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us so we can come alongside you to help you create a love-filled home.